00:01
ladies and gentlemen
boys and girls
children of all ages

00:06
you are about to witness
the end of an era
for when you step forth
through the blood soaked sea of despair
your soul will scream in agony
as Satan's cock tears you apart!

RUUUURRGGHHHHHHGHGHGH

00:21
WELCOME TO HELL
POPULATION: YOU
what's that? you were supposed to go to heaven?
my dear boy, there is no heaven!
there is only what you have made of your time on earth!
sitting in front of your computer
playing with your weiner
gee, you probably should have thought that one out a bit more, eh?

you tried to live a good life?
you tried to help those in need?
LIAR
you sat on your ass and played VIDEO GAMES
What's worse
you sat on your ass and made video game music REMIXES
all the while the world was left to rot and fester from the inside out

what could you have done with your life to make the world a better place?
what contribution could you have made?
You know that girl you fell in love with but who never returned the feeling?
That's because you NEVER TRIED TO IMPRESS HER
YOU NEVER TRIED TO WIN HER HEART
Instead she married that jerk who used to beat you up in third grade
And had three children named Billy, Samantha, and Tim!

And as you grew older you filled with nothing but regret
For a worthless life spent wasted, gone forever
No one will remember
No one will care
Your name dies with you
And it will be as if you had never lived at all
The soul
The human soul
YOUR HUMAN SOUL
The greatest mystical object of all

...wot

So, picture aliens...
And uh, these aliens are dancing...
Yeah...dancing...around...their...alien artifact.

Two adventurers enter the chamber containing the legendary 'Jar of Cerulea'.
But only one will leave with it alive...

An ancient relic is found in the depths of an distant planet.

In the recesses of time and space, a great artifact is activated to grant all desire to the benign hero.

All he wanted was a miracle.

what's going to happen?

+2 to salvage (Dumpsters only)

As if by some form of magic... Dyne, the strange wanderer, has discovered, the Mystical Trance Machine...what wonders does it hold? And...what is that...seeping from it?

following the theme is for suckers

lol

You see something very out of the ordinary off in the distance. What is it? Curiosity draws you closer as the object becomes even stranger.

Maybe I can drown myself in it!

I did this in 15 minutes. Then I exported the wav and never saved the project. Then I realized the export sped things way up. Oops.

almost never made it.